Free Speech, Family Parades, and Who “We the People” Really Means

Content note: This post includes quoted profanity and references to abusive language.

This weekend’s Harvard Milk Days Parade was, by almost any measure, a wonderful celebration of community. Families lined the streets, kids chased candy, and neighbors from every background came together to enjoy a long‑standing local tradition. In the middle of that joy, a political T‑shirt and a rainbow American flag sparked an online firestorm.

A conservative Facebook page published a post criticizing the McHenry County Democrats’ entry in the parade. The focus of the outrage was a shirt that read “Sugar & Spice And Fuck ICE” and a rainbow‑colored American flag with the phrase “We The People.” The parade was described as “family friendly,” and the Democratic entry was portrayed as a rude interruption of small‑town values.

Since then, photos of Corinna Bendel‑Sac wearing that shirt have been circulated and she has been personally targeted in comment threads. I’ve seen some truly vile things being said about her online: words like ‘bitch’ and ‘cunt,’ along with disgusting sexual insinuations about her and her teenage daughter. All from people who claim to be outraged by a four-letter word.

If we are going to talk about what is or isn’t “appropriate” in front of families and children, we need to talk honestly about that behavior, too.

My position, plainly

I understand why some parents were uncomfortable seeing the word “fuck” on a shirt at a kid‑heavy parade. I probably would have chosen different language myself.

At the same time, I believe deeply in the First Amendment. I respect my neighbor, Corinna Bendel‑Sac, as a District 9 resident, public servant, and long‑time activist who has consistently put her safety, livelihood, and time on the line for marginalized communities.

She isn’t performative. She has a track record of standing up, often at great personal cost, for people who are targeted.

Outrage at cruelty is not the problem. How we respond to that outrage, as a community, is the real question.

Why people are this angry

Nationally, our politics has changed. The days of “when they go low, we go high” as the only acceptable posture are largely past. Democrats and Republicans alike are using stronger language in public, including profanity. That’s not always comfortable, but it reflects a reality many of us feel: people are scared about losing their rights, their safety, and, in some cases, their families.

We may not all use the same words, but the emotions behind them are real. Expecting those most affected to express their fear and anger in a way that feels “polite” to everyone else can be its own kind of silencing.

The community context that matters

The Harvard Milk Days Parade runs through a community with a large Hispanic population. For many of our neighbors, ICE is not an abstract acronym. It is workplace raids, family separation, and the constant fear that a knock on the door could change everything.

A shirt that says “Fuck ICE” is blunt. It is also a way of saying: “I see what you are living with, and I stand with you.” You can disagree with the wording. But it’s important not to erase the people that message was meant to protect.

In response to all of this, I’ve also seen comments saying that maybe if ICE came to the parade, “it would look more like Milk Days and less like Mexican Independence Day.” That sentence tells us more about the real problem than any four‑letter word on a shirt.

For me, a four‑letter word aimed at a federal agency is not the real scandal. What truly concerns me are the comments that treat our Hispanic neighbors as a problem to be solved instead of families who help build and sustain towns like Harvard.

The flag and the double standard

Some of the online commentary also condemned the rainbow “We The People” flag as disrespectful to the American flag, while saying nothing about flags turned black with a red or blue stripe, the Stars and Stripes with a politician’s face plastered across it, or clothing that technically violates the Flag Code as well.

We can have a good‑faith conversation about flag etiquette. But let’s at least be honest and consistent. This is not really about reverence for the flag; it’s about who gets to be seen as legitimately patriotic.

To me, a rainbow flag that says “We the people means everyone” is not an attack on America. It is a reminder of who the Constitution is supposed to serve. It is saying, plainly, that LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, people of color, and every other marginalized group are part of “we the people,” too.

Where I draw my lines

As a member of this community and as someone who cares deeply about local government, my job is not to micromanage every shirt or sign someone carries in a parade. My job is to listen, to understand why people are angry or afraid, and to push for a county that is fairer and safer for everyone.

I personally aim to use language that brings more people into the conversation, especially when children are present. That is my style and my responsibility.

But I will not join selective outrage that focuses on a four‑letter word while ignoring xenophobic comments about our Hispanic neighbors. I will not pretend that a rainbow flag declaring “We the people means everyone” is the problem, while flags glorifying individual politicians or punishing dissent pass without comment. And I will never be okay with women, especially women who stand up for vulnerable communities, being dehumanized and threatened because someone doesn’t like their shirt.

We are a diverse county. We will not always choose the same words or symbols. Discomfort is part of democracy.

What we can choose is how we treat each other when we disagree, and whether we show up for our neighbors when they are being targeted.

That is the kind of courage, compassion, and honesty that I stand for.